There are secrets I keep buried inside,
things have occurred; and there is no one in whom I can confide.
Worried if events I have hidden within,
eventually will cost me the respect of my family or a good friend.
Trying each day that I never reveal,
the deep shame and endless suffering which I now always feel.
On one fateful day my innocence lost,
gone any peace of mind; never trusting again the ultimate cost.
Enduring in silence and always so afraid,
someone would discover and know of this lonely masquerade.
Powerless to relax or somehow let go,
my hidden thoughts exposed and soon everyone would know.
A broken spirit beyond hopes of repair,
feeling lost and totally alone, because no one is even aware.
Lonely nights spent trying just to sleep,
the tears flowing freely again; as I once more start to weep.
Absent of any bruises that would appear,
dark painful secrets and my abuser keeps me living in fear.
Knowing their deeds are safe for eternity,
because of different forms of abuse you cannot readily see.
Deep seated scars left from the trauma,
self esteem issues quickly surface from this abusive drama.
Abusers excuses ready if you should ask,
while I remain scared and helpless after their cowardly task.
Longing to have somebody I can trust,
wasted years gone with sweet innocence laying in the dust.
Hoping for help by talking to someone,
any recovery I have made could soon quickly come undone.
Questions and focus then turned on you,
inquiries, if it actually happened, "Well, what did you do?"
Thoughts surface somehow I am to blame,
silently retreating, feeling once again the guilt and shame.
Untold damage haunts every part of me,
wondering when a broken spirit will once more be set free.
I seek solace in my solitude and prayer,
holding faithfully to the belief I will find the answers there.
© Brenda Sparkman
March 3, 2007
Webset © Majestic Websets
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
