Self Control by Brenda Sparkman

I was the baby of the family, very tiny for my size you see,
all of the other kids in our family would tease me unmercifully.
They would tie a big rock on the end of a stick,
chasing me around the yard, they were so big and so quick.
I would run inside of our house and hide under the bed,
hoping they could not find me because I was filled with such dread.
My little heart beating so fast all I could do was cry,
why do they treat me this way, I couldn’t figure it out but I would try.
What if they caught me, what am I going to do,
what would be the answer from you.
My sister and everyone was always so much bigger than me,
but in the end it was not the difference as you will see.
It doesn’t really matter how big you are,
if someone pushes hard enough you are stronger by far.
Later on when my sister was fourteen and dating already,
she had even found herself a brand new steady.
We were all home and I was watching my favorite show on tv,
something which was very new to me.
My sister’s new boyfriend said, “Change the channel for me,
there must be something better than this to see.”
She got up and went to the tv, without even giving consideration to me.
I couldn’t believe what my sister had just done,
I switched the channel back to my show, my favorite one.
Well, he would keep pushing her to change it again,
she changed it three times and I thought I can’t win.
The last time she did it I got so mad, what I did next was very sad.
I remember then my mother coming through the living room door,
I had my sister down pounding her head into the floor.
My mother screamed, “Let her go, your going to kill her.”
I don’t even remember getting up my mind was all astir.
I went out the front door I needed to cool off and go for a walk,
I was so filled with rage I couldn’t even talk.
It was that day I realized what a temper I had,
how strong I was when I was mad.
I made a promise to myself that day,
that I would do everything I could to not let my temper run away.
I have never in my life wanted to hurt anyone,
I would much rather laugh and have fun.
I learned a valuable lesson when I was so mad I couldn’t talk,
I found out it was best my friend to just take a walk.
If you ever see someone picking on me and I just walk away,
it is because of the valuable lesson I learned that day.
For me to learn self control, so that this valuable lesson could be told.
© Brenda Sparkman
January 2004